I apologize for the apparent brief nature of this. However, unlike some of my peers, I truly fail to see there could frankly be any room for debate or misinterpretation over such a clearly simple idea.
The Virtue of Respect mandates that we know our place and understand the gravity of our actions, nothing more.
I will first dismiss this idea that Respect is tantamount to kindness. I have heard some of the clerics say this, and I will say now that this cannot be further from the truth. While it is true we strive to be good-natured as beings, to expect that we live our lives meekly is absurd. Throughout history we have shown necessary un-kindness to our foes. The trolls, for one, have ever been the targets of our torches and blades. We are not kind to them. Do we then break the first Virtue practically every day?
What of the creation of paladins? The creation of a warrior-kind as us refutes any idea that our violence was simply entirely misguided. There are cases, clearly, where violence- and as a result, unkindness, are in fact just.
What makes it just however, is that there is Respect given for our power and the abilities that we do. Paladins use their awesome power against the forces of darkness, not against rebels or mortal foes. We give Respect to the Light in this, and Respect to the fact that the lives we take are not ones we take lightly- they are with utmost hope for the greater good, against only the foulest of fiends.
I believe what people confuse as kindness is simply knowledge of one's place. This is a feudal society we live in, and a knight's position means a great deal. For a paladin, however, it is spiritually mandated that he uphold this society that the Light has endorsed, not just by bringing his weapon to bear against mankind's enemies, but also by exemplifying such ideas as, simply, not speaking out of turn. Respect for his body, for it is a temple. Know that he is a shepherd, and thus must take his ability to lead seriously.
It is the thought of many reactionary Paladins- particularly idolators of this 'Scarlet Crusade' that rather, Respect is merely the "least important" of the three virtues. Unlike the other idea, this is an insult, and I'll hit my squire if I ever hear him say this. All of the virtues are equally as important, as they are the foundation for our spirit to grow strong. Our world is founded on the principle that the triad is the strongest of any grouping. It is the mind, body, and soul. Mathematics have shown that the triangle is the strongest shape. I could go on. But to neglect one part of this triad simply on the grounds of inconvenience is not only foolish, it is blasphemous.
With this definition I have provided, there is no excuse to not adhere to the virtue of Respect just as steadfast as one might except a paladin to follow the ideas of Tenacity and Compassion.